Thirty, Thriving and Thankful.
A few months ago I had a little meltdown, and by little I mean a few tears and I didn’t leave my apartment. My weekend-long meltdown started when I considered my maturity and concluded that I didn’t have certain goals [read career goals] and it wasn’t my goal-less-ness that shocked me, I was more shocked and concerned at my lack of care for goals. I know it’s a bit complex to understand but my feelings were very real. I questioned myself a lot that weekend:
“At your big age you don’t know what you want to do? See your mates.”
“How have you not thought about having goals? See your mates, they have them.”
It was a difficult rest of the week for me when all I could think of was how naive I had been all this time. I mean, I plan events as a career and here I was without a plan. As tough as the week became, I knew I could not dwell in such a state, I had to pray my way through comparisons, frustrations and confusion and as I prayed God calmed my Nollywood-dramatic-heart with the sweet words “I got you boo!” He lovingly reminded me that nothing about me is late (regardless of what time I get into work *covers face*), but everything about me is on time according to His will and His plan.
I still don’t have career goals, but I have God and His reassuring words. With His words, I’m able to pray for the right things and I’m in a better position to even consider having goals.
I may not have anything together, with everything life throws at me, with everything that gives me FOMO the truth is God is Good and because He is good I am thriving still and will continue to do so. I’m in such a GOOD GOOD place.
In my GOOD place, I’ve seen how faith, words and actions work; I’m learning that my decisions today will impact generations ahead of me.
In my GOOD place, I’m so thankful to God because He insists on revealing more of Himself to me every day, from the grand to the seemingly insignificant, He shows up still. Oh, THE JOY!
In my GOOD place is the place of real rest. I get to rest knowing that things aren’t yet what they will be, I get to rest knowing that some things will never change and I get to rest knowing that “in ALL things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” (Romans 8 verse 28 New International Version).
Lessons for 30:
Thankfulness mustn’t be far from my lips. Thankful to God and thank other people (genuinely)
“It’s not that deep” - nothing ever is (except the love of God). Ask God for wisdom and peace, then recline and drink tea.
Resting - knowing when to stop and when to start.
Staying in my lane.
Not going a day without laughing.
Yes, I have desires and dreams like the next person, but I’m choosing not to place so much emphasis on chasing tomorrow that I forget to live today. I choose to take one moment at a time, I choose to listen to The Holy Spirit as He leads (sometimes I have selective hearing); I’m choosing to see me as God sees me, so I can live and love the way He intended. I’m choosing to be a woman of my word, to God, to myself and to others. I’m choosing honesty, peace, boldness, joy, faith, gratitude and thankfulness and I’m choosing to mind my business (it helps lol).
Thirty with God. Couldn’t have it any other way.